Dropping Into Trust

Photo by Kobi RefaeliThere is never a way to truly unmask the heart of another person. Intuitives, clairvoyants, mystics, tarot card readers…none of these can truly read the heart of another, or predict the future with complete certainty. Married couples that have lived in the same house for dozens of years do not even know the entire truth of their mates despite squeezing the toothpaste beside each other every night. In fact, the truth of life is that there is no way to control the outcome when the behavior of another person is required for one’s happiness–especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

Add to this normal human quagmire of distrust a little early childhood trauma, and Voila! The makings of relationship sabotage are assembled and ready to be set ablaze.

Let’s consider the options for protecting oneself from siege by love:

  1. Build a barricade around one’s heart and require blood samples, lie-detector test, and certified “grade A” documentation before allowing a person to pass to the outermost ring of the castle walls.
  2. Hire a private investigator to find all the proof that you were right not to trust in the first place.
  3. Join a monastery and live out your life in seclusion.
  4. Decide to live a life of one-night stands, never allowing a person to stick around long enough to find out you’re human, and lonely.

Or…listen to your heart, believe in magic/synchronicity/soulmates/Spirit, and trust your own intuition. What’s the worst that can happen? Even it it all turns out a lie, you’ll have thoroughly enjoyed the grand illusion while it lasted, shared your heart with another person, and felt what it feels like to love and be loved in return. Whether you choose options 1-4, or allow yourself to trust and love—if it doesn’t work out you’ll suffer either way the loss of the person you loved. And you’ll survive to see another day.

In the end, the answer to this riddle lies in the wisdom of Don Miguel Ruiz who wrote a treatise on love, and what it means to truly love. He says:

“If you take your happiness and put it in someone’s hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it. If you give your happiness to someone else, she can always take it away.”

The Mastery of Love is to realize that the love you feel for another person is truly the love you have inside of you already…it’s merely being reflected to you by this other person. If this person decides to stop mirroring love to you, the love is still inside of you; the love does not disappear when this person walks away. When you carry love inside of yourself, you see it reflected in the people around you, in nature, in literature and art: the entire world can become your mirror of love. Understanding that you carry the love inside of yourself liberates you from the human marketplace, and the bondage that comes with negotiating and bargaining for love. I do not need to buy from you what already resides inside of me a-plenty.

Certainly when two hearts mirror each other close to perfectly, there is immense joy in the game of playing mirror. It can be such a rewarding connection that neither person wishes to be anywhere else than in front of the mirror. Both are free to walk away at any time…but the fun of the game keeps them mesmerized. Losing such a special connection is highly undesirable, but this is a matter of preference rather than survival need. When you are full of love, you cannot starve if another person takes his/her portion away.

As for me, I believe I understand the teachings of Don Miguel and I have touched these truths momentarily in my life–enough to know the verity of these statements. I still wobble with my wounded story and reasons not to trust and stronger-than-hell belief structures around needing to be loved…until I remember that the love isn’t out there, it’s in here.

Experiencing magic requires a leap of faith. Opening your heart requires a leap of faith. Trusting your intuition requires a leap of faith. Believing you can be loved completely and unconditionally is a leap of faith.

But the leap of faith isn’t a leap at all—it’s more of a dropping. Dropping into your center and knowing that you can give and share freely of your love because you have an endless supply inside of you.

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